Loving the Unlovable

By Ruth Eshbaugh

Sara was a small disfigured woman in her twenties. She had multiply medical problems; the surgery on her back meant to straighten her spine with metal rods didn’t seem to have helped. Her disposition was sour. She smelled because of her lack of hygiene and the warm damp climate of Florida. My life had intersected with hers at Alcoholics Anonymous meetings for youth. Sara liked to sit by me much to my great displeasure over the situation. She often became angry and excitable over any attempt the group had in confronting her disposition and views on life. We collectively knew what worked and what did not. Sara did not have a wining strategy for life, sobriety or relationships.

I was not a believer at the time, although God had gotten my attention and I was well on my way to being overwhelmed by His love for me. I could not resist loving Sara, loving that which was unlovable in her. It wasn’t even so much that I loved Sara, but I was in love with the possibility of a God who loved me just as I was and would rescue me from my addiction if I sought His strength.

I wanted to love Sara in deed, so I gave her rides. Giving Sara rides meant being manipulated into more than a ride. It could mean a trip to the bank or pharmacy or taking the garbage out of her apartment. Her apartment was as distasteful as she was. She had been given a brand new Section Eight apartment for the disabled outside of Melbourne Florida. The apartment could have been very nice, but Sara had allowed it to be a mess. Sara let the trash pile up so the apartment smelled and drew all the bugs Florida is noted for.

That Christmas so long ago when I struggled with the issues of addiction, without much money of my own, I decided to buy Sara Christmas gifts. Her mother was dead and her father lived in Europe. She was virtually an orphan without family or support. I knew she would receive little else for Christmas and that I was able to do something, so I did. That year I had baked Christmas cookies for my friends. I will never forget Sara’s face as it lit up when she received the cookies and presents. She didn’t have to say word, her face said it all.

A Christmas not too long ago I taught a Bible study for homeless women in Dallas Texas. Not that these women were unlovable, many were precious and caught in difficult circumstances. It was their season to struggle with issues of addiction and abandonment. How many women pass this way and look for answers to life’s difficult questions and sincerely take the opportunity to start fresh with life? More than we care to know. Their lives and circumstances cause us discomfort and tempt us to want to look away. Because of my past, I was full of hope and God’s Word. Having born fruit in my life, I trusted God’s Word would not return void. I taught knowing that I may never know this side of heaven what my feeble attempt to love these women in deed would produce. I prayed they would hope in a God who heals. I sincerely loved the women, but I did so knowing that there were reasons they did not have custody of their children, reasons their families had given them over to the consequences of their choices. I had to suspend judgment and hope for the best that God had for them. Again, I could not resist loving the unlovable.

Last night I sat with Bryant, a friend of my son Scott while he described his job as a preschool teacher. He prays, “Lord, help me somehow make a difference. I know these children come from broken homes and just need to be accepted. They have so many needs, on so many levels. Help me somehow meet some of those needs.” Bryant has the same vision I have had. Somehow I think I have forgotten that vision.
I laughed when Bryant said, “The kids, they are so disobedient. I spend so much time trying to get them to do the right things. I think that is how God sees us and I shake my head. I wish it weren’t true, but I know it is. I want to love them like God loves me.”

This New Year I want to be about God’s work again. Something in Bryant’s words touched that part of my heart that knows… I don’t think I can resist loving the unlovable, because that is how God loves me.

May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.  2 Thessalonians 2:16- 17

Ruth Eshbaugh is a graphic artist by trade. She is the webmaster for http://www.goodnewsnow.com and a writer for Lifted Magazine www.liftedmagazine.com. She has two grown sons; Sean and Scott who are grist for the mill when she writes. Ruth attends the University of Texas at Dallas where she is studying Fine Arts. She Attends Willow Bend Church in Plano Texas. Her Motto is: I am an artist who teaches, a teacher who writes. To comment on this article feel free to contact writers@blessedlady.com.

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